Tuesday, September 09, 2008

He Is So In Trouble

So I go into the library today to pick up a book I had on hold. (Has anyone read Cormac McCarthy's The Road? Anyone? Anyone?)

Anyway, if there's one thing that you don't want to see when you go to the library, it is the librarian gasping when she looks at the computer screen that shows your record.

Now in the next paragraph I am going to use the word, "literally" in the correct way. I'm just preparing you not to be suspicious.

The librarian asked me if I'd like to also pick up my eldest child's books and I said, "Sure." Then she pulled up his library record, and her eyes bulged and she literally gasped.

She started blinking rapidly and moved away from the desk to confer with another librarian, and then seemed to think better of it and wheeled her chair back up and I just knew this was not going to be good news.


I, however, could not seem to blink at all.

I am really learning this trick of not displaying my emotions to every person who comes along to whom I owe hundreds of dollars. It takes practice but I seem to be getting good at it.

I said this, after the vein in my forehead stopped throbbing visibly:

"I'll bet you're not going to give me his books, huh."

She just looked embarrassed for me.

I left the library quickly and now I am waiting quietly here, just thinking about what is going to happen when this child arrives home from driver's ed in a few moments.
And he didn't wear his retainer today.
He is SO in trouble.


Molly said...

YIKES!!! That is really bad news. I can't talk though because I just got an email that an audio-book that I have is overdue. Oh yeah, and I didn't get my H.S. Diploma on graduation night because I had lost a textbook... Hopefully the librarians will be able to make a deal with him!

Kulio said...

hee - yes, I know...he can't deny this part of his genes since I also have a few stories....

The good news is that apparently the library has stopped giving overdue fines. Instead, when your book is overdue, they just charge you the cost of the book. When you return it, they take it off your record and you don't owe anything. The scare tactic works. There is a huge pile of books on our kitchen counter right now...he was hunting late into the night...

I had him read this post as a way to break the bad news...ha!

Joann said...

unbelievable! I don't even know how to respond to this one. speechless.

Anonymous said...

My first reaction couldn't be printed here.

Thankfully, our library can't charge more than HALF the cost of the book (unless you lose it - then you pay replacement cost.)


Anonymous said...

Extra points for good use of the word "literally"!!



Heidi Lee said...


The Dude said...

Wow! Thats more money than I make in a.... wait, I don't make any money!!!! (dang-.-)


Billy said...

I don't pay fines. There are four places where I can not rent videos. I just never went back.

kool kenna said...