I'm so fickle.
But I love that the blog allows me this.
It is a free expression of me - not a job, not a requirement, not an expectation,
not a duty.
There is a beauty about being able to leave it undone, without consequence,
when I need to.
That's probably why I've kept up with it,
not left it abandoned like so many other projects in my life.
Because I don't have to do it.
All that said, here I am back again.
If you read this blog, you'll find that sometimes it lets you down.
Doesn't follow through.
Doesn't keep up.
There you go.
Today is a Saturday and ahead of me are two hours
of sitting under the Spirit Tent
selling Spirit items.
I don't know what these things will be.
Maybe insulated soda can holders.
Maybe t-shirts and hats and keychains.
Maybe a big foam "number one" finger.
I will sit there proudly, with the cash box.
I will pretend I am one of the gang of mothers
who always volunteer at these games.
I will nod and smile, waving "hey" to passerby acquaintances.
But I will always be a half-step out of sync
with the rhythm of this rec league machinery.
My head will not really be in the game.
My Spirit shirt will be a little too new,
and my hat will not quite be broken in.
She will look over for reassurance
that I am there.
And that is why.
*
8 comments:
First off, I check your blog ALL the time..I enjoy it when you post! I am the same way with that..I love to do it, but don't feel pressured to always be doing it. I do it when something fun happens and I want to share it with everyone.
I hope you sold a lot of foam fingers today!!
Your blog is NEVER a let down. I love how you so succinctly say a lot of things I've felt. I just can't seem to say it so well.
Hope today was fun!
Hope we didn't pressure you...just meant it as encouragement. I love to read anything you write, my literary-gifted cousin. Love you!
Awesome blog, I had not noticed ottavabattuta.blogspot.com earlier during my searches!
Keep up the good work!
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