Sunday, September 20, 2009


It is a known fact that when I go to the grocery store, there will be an incident.
I can't help myself, I am incident-prone.

Yesterday, dropping in after church to pick up Ice
and one other thing that I could not remember no matter how many aisles I wandered,
I checked out.

Except that I zipped the ribbon from my shirt-sleeve into my purse.

Immediately I was surrounded by store personnel.
One was carrying my Ice,
one was holding my receipt,
one was asking to help.

I said to none of them in particular, "This is awkward."

The bagger was kind and forthright,
treating my incident as completely normal.
His large fingers closed on the tiny ribbon and expertly yanked it out of the zipper,
sending me on my way.

I think he had been standing there waiting for me.
Maybe they had all been alerted as soon as I stepped into the store.

Would she upset the pyramid of pears?
Would she have another incident involving a shopping cart?
Might she injure herself today?
Will she become light-headed in produce
or hyperventilate while choosing cereal?
Will she run over her own foot or
catch the edge of the diaper display as she is rounding a corner?

Will she even make it out alive??



Kristy said...

I'm the same way in clothing stores.
I'm sure that when I walk through the door, somewhere, an alarm goes off. "GOOFBALL ALERT! GOOFBALL ALERT!"

Kelle said...

Bwah ha ha ha!
About every third time I go grocery shopping, I roll over my own toe with the cart which, consequently, I've found to be very very heavy, in case you wondered. And it hurts bad enough where I wince and hop and wanna cry but hold it back...basically a big scene. Perhaps grocery stores are not friendly to Crydermans in general. Oh, and I remember one time living in Spring Arbor, I walked out of Hutch's (it's Hutch's, right?) in the dead of winter and almost got to my car but slipped on the ice, landing flat next to someone's else's car...almost half underneath it. And two seconds later, while I was still lying there, its owner walked up and thought I was trying to fix something under her car.

Diane said...

Or might she pull a bra out of her purse?

Kulio said...

haha...Kelle...oh please tell that story again. Please? Please?? hee hee Diane. And Kristy...I have issues with dressing rooms.