I have been preaching to my girlfriends lately
about saying no, because I have finally figured it out.
You say, "Oh I wish I
could!" with a look of deep earnestness
and sorrow for the fact that you are unavailable to do whatever thing
you have just been asked to do.
You do not give a reason -
this I learned from the husband.
He says, "If you give a reason, you sound like you're trying to make an excuse,
and it gives them something to argue with you about, and it always comes out
sounding less important than you thought it would."
So there is this little awkward silence after you say,
"Oh I wish I
could!"
while they wait for you to say why you can't.
But your look is so earnest and heartfelt and you smile so apologetically,
that after the awkward moment has passed,
they will either say, "okay, maybe next time," or
they might offer a reason
for you, like,
"Oh, you're working that day?"
If they do this, watch out, you don't want to agree,
just keep that smile pasted on your face and ever so slightly nod.
To them, the nod means 'yes', and they feel better.
To you, it means,
"yes, please think whatever you like about my reason for saying no."
All that to say, I now find myself in the position of saying "no"
and it's not as easy as I made it out to be,
when I was preaching to my girlfriends.
I need a kick in the pants.
Peace!
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