Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Can't Leave Her Alone For A Minute

It seems to me that when left alone too long,
I tend to conjure up my own disasters.

Yesterday, it was my last living Tupperware dish.
I put the frozen bread inside to thaw,
with a quick look around the kitchen,
decided that the oven was the best place to keep it
until I needed to roll it out for pizza dough.

I said to myself, aloud, "Don't turn that oven on."
A little friendly reminder.
Totally unnecessary of course.

Within the hour, folks, I had decided to warm up the
rest of last night's supper,
and turned that sucker on to, "Low Broil."

Not low enough, apparently.

The bread was saved.
The lid to the dish, not.

Today it is the laundry.
While filling the washer with dark clothes,
I carefully poured bleach into the fabric softener dispenser.
Shrieking, I started pulling out all of the dark clothes
and throwing them into the laundry tub.
The spasmodic flinging of clothing jostled the dispenser
and bleach droplets flew everywhere making it way worse.
I filled the tub with cold water and rinsed rinsed rinsed.
My daughter's new skinny jeans were in peril.
I took off my own jeans and threw them into the water as well.
(That bleach went everywhere).

Still acting without thinking,
I looked at the bleachy water inside the washer
and decided to run a small load of whites in order
to help dispel all the bleach. In they went.

Only I didn't think about the fact that the darks were all
in the laundry tub that the washer drains into,
and if I turned that washer on, it would most surely overflow the tub
and flood the basement.
One load of completely soggy clothing would have to be moved.

I was left standing in my underwear, staring at the mess
that I had created in less than 3 minutes total,
afraid to touch anything else.

All by myself, folks.



Diane said...

Oh no!!!! I want to cry for you (and with you!) reminds me of many things I've done...most recently squirting hair dye into my eye and then rinsing it out so fast....I have dye all over my bathroom still.

Heidi Lee said...

Laughing at the visual I got while reading....you in your undies, standing by the tub filled with the clothes you might have ruined.....the ruined tupperware top didn't seem so bad after reading what happened later!!

KEK said...

Wait...What does PERIL mean?!


Kristy said...

Oh this made me laugh.
I, too, am a train wreck with the bleach bottle.

On an unrelated note...
on a lazy afternoon, I happened to link to a couple of the blogs on your fave young writers list.

If those are your trolls doing the writing, they are absolutely charming.
I will be so delighted and proud if my kids grow to express themselves half as well, displaying such smarts and humour.
Really lovely kids.

Lisa Y. said...

Oh, heather!!! glorious post! Sorry for your clothing that may have been ruined...but it was a hoot to read about it!!! We should leave you alone more often...more blog material. LOL
Luv you!