Thursday, August 07, 2008

Bad Mom to Good Mom: A Metamorphosis

So we are standing awkwardly at the first cheerleading practice...
twin girl exchanging silent smiles with the other girls, suddenly shy after not seeing each other for two months since school let out.

Some are doing cartwheels, some hanging on their moms, some showing off their youthful energy through impromptu races across the school lawn.

Twin girl tugs on my arm. I look down. She is smiling apologetically and pointing to her shoes. I open my mouth in shock.

She shrugs at the alarm in my eyes.

"These are the only ones I have!"

My jaw tightens and I glance around. Of course I only see the little girls with neat ponytails and brand new shoes. Coordinating outfits...laughing, chatting, coiffed mothers with babies dandled on their hips.

Suddenly I feel a little bit old and worn out, out of place. I have never quite fit in with the Brownie mothers, the cheerleading mothers, even the Ladies Circle at church mystifies me. Misfit! And my child in shoes with her toes hanging out.

I whisper a hurried promise to twin girl that we are going shopping together, just her and I. We will get doughnuts, we will buy school supplies...she will have new shoes. I'm suddenly anxious to make up for everything I might have forgotten about lately:

Making supper.
Buying milk.
Watering the plants.
Reading aloud.
Checking their teeth.

Sometimes the obvious eludes me.

So yesterday I felt the nausea of Things I May Have Missed.
Today I felt the elation of covering all of those bases in one fell swoop.
All it takes is a little dough.
Of which we have little.
She is nine, she's okay with Walmart.


Lisa Yik the Chick said...

Ugh! This is so me! In fact I just called to make about a dozen doctor's appointments that I've been procrastinating about for months. Motherhood is hard! Twin girl's clothes are adorable and her smile is even cuter!!

Adrienne said...

She is looking so cute..! I really like her backpack and shoes.

diane said...

Wow - she looks great. What ARE those things on her arms? I'm out of touch.

I love her smile too - she knows she looks great. Perfect for the start of school, don't you think?

Why are there links on "Adrienne"'s comments? Wierd.

I sent my kids to school this morning - about an hour ago! The only problem is Adele - she forgot her schedule and this is the first time she is switching classes so she'll be lost, but I DID tell her to pack it and she assured me that she had it in her backpack, so I'm covered.

Heidi Lee said...

LOVE that outfit and the sleeves are the coolest!
Yeah for shopping!!

Molly said...

She always looks great, but those new clothes sure are rockin' :)

Michelle said...

Thanks for being one of those Mom's that even though you feel "...(you) have never quite fit in..." you're a ROCKSTAR that gets cool shoes and clothes for the children so they can fit.
And by the way, you so do "fit" - truly.

cjs said...

I loved this. I'm glad I'm not the only one.

and I couldn't agree more with Michelle.

Heidi Lee said...

EEEK!!! I thought that shirt looked familiar when I bought it for Mylie. We got home and the other girls were all, "HEY, Beth has the SAME shirt, but she got a skirt with it" Oops! I guess we copied!! Ha!!! We have good taste I guess!