Tuesday, November 06, 2007

A Lesson In Coolology


Let's say you walk into a cool coffee place, and you find yourself at the front of the line before you are really ready to order. Not that this happened to me today or anything. Let's just "say".

A piece of advice. Wave the next guy through. Let the guy behind you go up and order. Let the women in heels and makeup and black clothes go in front of you too. If you are not prepared to order, step aside.

Remain cool. Don't look around yourself nervously at the growing line and the toes tapping impatiently. If you want to maintain an air of coolness, do not, and I repeat, do NOT fumble around in your purse for Exact Change. This is what old people do. Not the young, chic people who frequent coffee shops.

One more thing. In the process of extracting your Exact Change, and holding up the long line of Business-type people by not knowing what you want to order, do NOT, under any circumstances, slide your finger so far into your little change purse that the non-coinage spills out onto the counter. This would include not spilling out your driver's license, your receipts, your ticket stubs unless they were for something cool, and last but not least, two super-size tampons. Not one, but two.

Count them. Look at them rolling out onto the glass counter for the man behind you to pretend not to see.
One large super-size tampon.
Two large super-size tampons.

Granted, this is all a completely hypothetical situation that you will probably never find yourself in, but just in case, now you know.

10 comments:

KEK said...

I will remember to be cool the next time we are at cappachino cafe. I should have read this before today, at the cafe...

kool kenna said...

lol. PLEASE tell my mom not to get the exact change. i hate it! she always does it. every time! I ABSOLUTLY HATE IT!

riahbell said...

I agree with mckenna, this is really great advice...

DB said...

HA HA HA - this is the funniest thing I've read all day. And I LOVE your Fonzie picture!

I can't believe you did that. I love it and SO wish I had been there. Not so much to help cover up your faux pas for you, but more to bend over at the waist, holding my stomach, which my face turns red with laughter.

LOVe U!

cjs said...

no you dih-ent!

I still think you're cool.

like, WAY cool.

cjs said...

oh yeah...thanks for all the comments on my blog. you made my day.

Kulio said...

oh good! I was afraid it sounded like I was just OBSERVING a jogging-suited-clad mother dumping her unmentionables on the counter. uh yeah, that was me...

cjs, your blog is soooo gorgeous.

Michelle said...

Thanks for the smile this brought. Just saying.

cjs said...

Time to write again...just holding you accountable for your november resolution.

I'll be waiting. eagerly.

cjs

Lorio said...

Gasp!!!