Friday, May 25, 2007

Last Day of School

They're home!

The whole day, spread out in front of me like the unblemished skin of a new jar of peanut butter, is something long gone.

Now it's gonna get crumbs and jelly in it.

Ah, the mess of summer. I love my days alone, so for the life of me I can't figure out this childish excitement that wiggles in my stomach on the last day of their school.

It's something new, I guess. And my life slows a little. They don't sleep in, but they play quietly in their bedrooms all morning. They are outside for a while and then we bring naptime back from the antiquity of their respective infancies, and life is very good for an hour or so. The witching hour of suppertime returns, and boredom appears, bedtimes are relaxed, popsicles show up in the freezer again...

My girlfriend had an interesting dream - she said she had three babies at the top of a hill, and she sat each one at the top and then pushed them gently down. They slid to the bottom of the hill and bumped up gently against a fence that was there. She said to me, "I don't even know who those babies are!"

I said, "Well they are your babies," (she has three adolescent children), "and they're no longer little, but they're still safe with you. You've let them go, but not all the way."

That's how I feel at the beginning of a new season for my children: two third graders, a sixth grader and a freshman in high school! They are my babies, but I'm letting them go, little by little, year by year.

I'm glad that they're home, still within my grasp,
still bumping into that fragile fence.

Welcome Summer!


Diane said...

I love the pb&j reference - perfect.

I had a dream last night that I kept telling my youngest to do something (I think it was to wash his face because it was really dirty) and he kept not doing it. I kept spanking him...and he kept NOT doing it. So I spanked harder and finally knocked him over.

What does this mean??? In my heart, am I a child-beater?

Kulio said...

ohhhh, beautiful!!!

well maybe there is something that you want him to be, in your deepest heart of hearts and he is just not going to be that. And you're realizing it, is all. Nah, you're not a child-beater, but the spanking is your inner anger over something that you feel is best for him, that you can't make him take for his own good.

Hey and maybe it's not him that you're spanking...maybe it's yourself. Maybe there's a part of you that is very small, and very young, that you're unhappy about. And you are beating yourself up over this inability to change. And maybe, getting knocked over means you are seeing that you're just hurting yourself with your anger over it.

aw, it could be anything!

I love dreams and all their possibilities :-) thanks for reading my blog!! That dream was Heart's btw.

Crydo said...

very funny stuff Heathwad. Nice writing and good to see you yester and today.
Love you guys!

Kulio said...

thanks for checking me out Forehead!

I love your blog and check it weekly :-)

peace out!

kool kenna said...

i love how you two call each other names

Kulio said...

hey BungDitty! I checked out your site and it's pretty cool. Except for Brittany's hair - ew.

See? Now you have a name too!